Whom the Quran Does Not Allow Us to Marry: A Gentle Reading of Surah An-Nisa 4:23

Marriage, in the Quran, is described as a bond of tenderness and trust [30:21]. Yet not every union is open to everyone. The Quran sets aside a clear list of men and women whom one may not marry, and this list appears most fully in Surah An-Nisa, chapter 4, verses 22 to 24. This dossier walks slowly through those verses, pausing on the Arabic words that carry their meaning, and then listens to how other passages of the Quran — on kinship, on chastity, on kindness within families — echo and complete the list. The aim is not to issue rulings, but to help any curious reader, including teenagers, see what the text actually says and why it says it.

The heart of the list: Surah An-Nisa 4:22-24

The central passage is [4:22-24]. It comes at the end of a long section of Surah An-Nisa dealing with family life, inheritance, and the protection of the vulnerable. The word used for the forbidden women is hurrimat (حُرِّمَت), a passive form of the root h-r-m, meaning "made forbidden, made sacred by prohibition." The passive voice matters: the prohibition comes from God, not from custom. The list that follows in [4:23] is the most complete enumeration in the whole Quran, and the verses around it add two further cases.

Mothers, daughters, sisters: the closest kin

The list opens with ummahātukum (أُمَّهَاتُكُمْ), "your mothers," and banātukum (بَنَاتُكُمْ), "your daughters," and akhawātukum (أَخَوَاتُكُمْ), "your sisters" [4:23]. These three anchor everything that follows: the parent-child line and the sibling line. The Quran repeats and confirms this elsewhere in the chapter, since [4:22] had already prohibited marrying the wife of one's father, which protects the father's household. The underlying logic is protective: the family circle is a place of safety, and the text shields it from confusion of roles.

The wider family: aunts and nieces

The list continues with ʿammātukum (عَمَّاتُكُمْ), "your paternal aunts," and khālātukum (خَالَاتُكُمْ), "your maternal aunts," and banātu al-akh and banātu al-ukht, "your brother's daughters and your sister's daughters" — the nieces [4:23]. Notice the pattern: every degree of kinship is covered through both the father's side and the mother's side. The text is symmetrical and careful. Later jurists discussed how far these categories extend (for example, whether a great-aunt is included), and the Quran itself does not spell that out; it simply names the degrees with precision.

Kinship through nursing: milk-mothers and milk-sisters

One striking element of [4:23] is ummahātukumu allātī arḍaʿnakum (أُمَّهَاتُكُمُ اللَّاتِي أَرْضَعْنَكُمْ), "the mothers who nursed you," and akhawātukum mina al-raḍāʿa (أَخَوَاتُكُم مِّنَ الرَّضَاعَةِ), "your sisters through nursing." The root r-ḍ-ʿ means to suckle. The Quran treats the bond created by breastfeeding as real kinship for marriage purposes. This is one of the few places where a social, non-blood bond is placed on the same list as blood relatives, showing how the text values care given in infancy.

Mothers-in-law and stepdaughters: the family formed by marriage

The list then moves to relatives acquired through marriage itself. Ummahāt nisāʾikum (أُمَّهَاتُ نِسَائِكُمْ) means "the mothers of your wives" — mothers-in-law — and rabāʾibukumu allātī fī ḥujūbikum (رَبَائِبُكُمُ اللَّاتِي فِي حُجُوبِكُمْ), "your stepdaughters who are in your care" [4:23]. The word rabāʾib comes from the root r-b-b, linked to raising and nurturing; the phrase fī ḥujūbikum (in your households, under your charge) limits the prohibition to stepdaughters with whom there is an actual bond of care. The verse adds a detail of fairness: if the marriage to their mother has not been consummated, the prohibition does not apply. The text distinguishes between a household truly formed and a contract not yet lived.

Wives of sons and two sisters together

Two more items close the enumeration in [4:23]: ḥanāʾibukum (حَنَائِبُكُمْ), an unusual word meaning "the wives of your sons," from the root ḥ-n-y, "to bend, to curve" — describing the intimacy of the marital bond — and the rule against al-ukhtayn maʿan, "gathering two sisters together" in marriage [4:23]. The verse gently notes that what has already happened in the past, before faith, is covered by God's pardon, and points hearts toward God as ghafūrun raḥīm, "ever-forgiving, merciful." The prohibitions look forward; they are not traps for the past.

Married women, and the exception of those one owns

The final item in [4:24] is al-muḥṣanātu mina al-nisāʾi illā mā malakat aymānukum — "married women, except those your right hands possess." The key word al-muḥṣanāt (الْمُحْصَنَات), from the root ḥ-ṣ-n meaning "to fortify, to enclose," refers to women who are protected by marriage. This final clause belongs to its historical context of servitude, which no longer exists, and its interpretation has been discussed at length by scholars; the Quran's own moral horizon is that freedom and dignity matter, as [90:12-13] defines a steep path as "freeing a neck." A related term, muḥṣanāt applied to free believing women in [5:5], shows the same root carrying the sense of chastity and protection.

The door left open: "all others are lawful"

Right after the list, [4:24] states that everything beyond these categories is permitted, tabtaghūna bi-amwālikum muḥṣinīna ghayra musāfiḥīna — "seeking them with your wealth, in wedlock, not in license." The word musāfiḥīn comes from s-f-ḥ, related to pouring out, and means those who seek only physical pleasure. The Quran thus frames the list as a boundary around a wide, open field: most people are not forbidden. The same generosity of tone appears in [4:25], which addresses those of modest means and speaks of God's desire not to burden anyone.

Protecting women already married: truthfulness in divorce

Two cases in the list deserve a second look, because the Quran reinforces them elsewhere. Marrying a father's wife is condemned in [4:22], which calls it faḥishah (فَاحِشَة), "an abomination," and sāʾa sabīlan, "a detestable way." And the rule against remarrying a woman one has divorced three times is stated in [2:230]: after a final divorce, she may not remarry him until she has genuinely married another husband. The root there is nakāḥa (نَكَاحَة), "marriage," and the point is to prevent a woman from being passed back and forth. These verses show that the forbidden list protects the stability of existing households, not only blood ties.

Chastity, guardianship, and the spirit behind the list

Beyond the named categories, the Quran adds conditions about the persons themselves. [24:3] states that a man given to zinā (زِنَى), "unlawful intimacy," may only marry one of the same kind — a verse whose exact scope scholars have discussed in different ways. More broadly, [17:32] commands lā taqrabū al-zinā — "do not even come near unlawful intimacy" — using the verb of nearness to show that one should keep distance from the situation itself. And [4:19] reminds believing men that they may not inherit women against their will nor keep them to take back what was given: lā taqniṭūhum li-tadhhabū bi-baʿḍi mā ātaytumūhunna. The forbidden list and these commands share one spirit: women are persons, not property.

Marriage as protection: who one may marry

The Quran also speaks positively. [2:221] forbids marrying mushrikūn and mushrikāt — those who associate partners with God — "until they believe," because "a believing slave is better than an idolater," and calls idolaters yadʿūna ilā al-nār, "they invite to the Fire," while faith "invites to the Garden." [5:5] opens marriage to "chaste women from among those given the Scripture before you" — al-muḥṣanāt mina alladhīna ūtū al-kitāb — requiring the bride's consent and a fair gift (ṣaduhunna, their dowry). And [24:32] commands that those who cannot yet afford marriage should remain chaste ḥattā yughniyahum min faḍlihi — "until God enriches them from His bounty." The forbidden list sits inside a larger teaching: marriage is meant to shelter purity, not to trap anyone.

A closing reflection

Reading [4:23] carefully, one sees that the Quran's list of forbidden unions is not arbitrary. It gathers mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, nieces, milk-kin, in-laws, wives of sons, married women — every relationship in which intimacy would tear at the fabric of family instead of weaving it. The Arabic words themselves — hurrimat, arḍaʿna, rabāʾib, muḥṣanāt — carry meanings of protection, care, and enclosure, as though the text were building walls of gentleness around the household. Around this list, other verses [2:230], [17:32], [4:19], [30:21] reveal the intention beneath the letter: that marriage be a place of mawaddah wa raḥmah, love and mercy, and that every family circle remain a shelter no one may enter wrongly or leave wounded.